


Losers Live in the Past

by 0bviousLeigh



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Zexal
Genre: Angst, Healing, M/M, honestly though chris and kite's relationship is soooooo unhealthy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-21
Updated: 2016-07-21
Packaged: 2018-07-25 18:40:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7543648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/0bviousLeigh/pseuds/0bviousLeigh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Somewhere between getting his heart crushed and losing all his trust in other people, Kite grew up, and he did it without Christopher’s help. (Title inspired by a quote from Denis Waitley and the song "Loser" by Big Bang. Warning-Kite has a potty mouth)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Losers Live in the Past

**Author's Note:**

> When addressing the eldest Tenjo brother, I use “Kite” because “Kaito” is the Japanese pronunciation of the word “Kite,” and because his name in Katakana “カイト” can be correctly translated as “Kite” as well as "Kaito". And I like the name Kite it's such a cool name.

Somewhere between getting his heart crushed and losing all his trust in other people, Kite grew up, and he did it without Christopher’s help. Kite learned that to trust was to give someone your heart, and people inevitably broke your heart. Kite’s mother did it when she died, his father did it when he sacrificed his children in the name of finding new worlds, and Chris did it when he left Kite on the ground, in the rain, all alone. The three people Kite trusted most to take care of him, and they all left.

Kite vowed that Hart would never have reason to lose faith in him. He wanted to be worthy of Hart’s trust, and to do that Kite needed to be better than anyone he had ever trusted. It was a tall order, and it nearly cost Kite his life—it cost him his soul at least, which he was very lucky to get back.

After the Duel Carnival, there are a lot of bridges that need rebuilding, not the least between Kite and his father. Hart is quicker to forgive, but it’s understandable. He’s younger, and he’s been raised with a kinder soul (thanks to Kite). Kite is damaged, he keeps his heart close for fear of having it broken again, and has a hard time letting Dr. Faker back into his life. He doesn’t even want to think about Chris, but with new threats looming, he’s forced to consider working with his former mentor once more.

“Maybe you should get counseling,” Faker suggests. It’s nearing midnight, and Kite can’t sleep. For some reason his father has been sitting with him in the living room, in total silence up until now. Maybe he was thinking about how to bring this subject up all along.

“Who could possibly understand what happened?” Kite asks sharply. “I think this goes beyond what a normal therapist can handle.”

“Perhaps you’re right,” Faker says. “But you are so young, my boy, and I hate to think of you living the rest of your life like this.”

Checking on Hart in the middle of the night to make sure he’s still there, treating strangers like potential enemies, getting phantom pains in his chest and going into shock, thinking he’s about to die. Kite has been staring death in the face for years, now he’s staring life in the face and it’s somehow scarier.

Faker continues, “At least, I hope you can talk to Christopher. You used to be so close to him.”

Kite gets to his feet. “I’m going to bed.”

 

At age thirteen Kite was supposed to have grown out of hero worship, but from the moment he met Chris, Kite thought he was superman. They were only two years apart, but Chris was smarter, stronger, more in control of himself. Kite envied him, wanted to be him, and even though Kite was young, deep down what he wanted was for Chris to love him. Not as a brother, Kite didn’t want another brother. What Kite wanted was someone to care for him, to protect _him_ for a change. He thought Chris would be that person. But it seems like Kite was wrong about Chris. He’s starting to realize that he’s been wrong about a lot of things.

“Your dad said I would find you here.”

Kite almost falls off the kitchen counter. He gets to his feet whirls around—Chris is standing in the doorway of his house.

“How did you get in here?” Kite demands. His father had taken Hart grocery shopping, Kite was home alone. The only way Chris could get in was if he had a key.

“Your dad gave me the key,” Chris says.

“I’ll kill him,” Kite says. “Get lost.”

Chris has the nerve to look sad, almost resigned. “I just wanted to apologize.”

“You’re five years too late,” Kite spits.

“I know, but I really am sorry.”

Kite laughs. “Build a time machine, tell it to the thirteen year old you threw to the ground in the rain.” He cuts himself off, he sounds like a child.

“If I could, I would,” Chris says.

Kite marches across the room and slaps his former mentor across the face. Chris has to see it coming, but he doesn’t even try to avoid it. Rage floods Kite, and he swears the world turns red.

“Even then, I wouldn’t trust you,” Kite says viciously. “You want the truth? I don’t need you anymore. I thought I did, but boy was I ever wrong! Somewhere in my stupid, childish brain, I thought that I actually needed you! It must have been Daddy issues, I was projecting on you, but I grew out of it and I grew out of you. How great could you possibly have been if you blamed me and Hart for what my dad did? We were children, for fucks’ sake!” His voice breaks and he’s determined to finish before he starts crying. “So get the fuck out of my house and don’t ever talk to me again.”

Chris nods. “Alright. But just remember, I was a child, too.”

And Chris leaves, closing the door softly behind him.

Kite walks back to the kitchen and grabs the edge of the counter, his head spinning. Despite all his talk about growing up, he feels like the child in the rain again—he wants to run after Chris, scream for an explanation, scream for him to come back. But Kite isn’t that child, _he isn’t_ , he doesn’t need Chris.

Who is he kidding?

Kite staggers to the door and wrenches it open, almost walking straight into Chris. He didn’t leave, he was standing in front of the apartment door.

“I wanted to respect your wishes,” Chris says as Kite stares at him, “But I didn’t want to leave you again.”

Kite steps back to let Chris inside. Chris follows him, keeping an arm’s length away. In the house, they stand apart for a few minutes. Kite makes the first move, going closer to Chris until his forehead is pressed to Chris’ shoulder. Only then does Chris hug him, and Kite begins to cry silently.

“It’s okay if you don’t need me the way you used to,” Chris says. “It’s okay if we can’t get that friendship back, but I hope if nothing else, we can be together in a room without killing each other. I’ll never forgive myself for hurting you the way I did, and I don’t expect you to, either.”

Kite thinks about everything he could say. That he hasn’t trusted anyone since Chris left, that he was so confused, and hurt, and he blamed himself for years, and when he hardened his heart against Chris and everyone else in the world, he hated himself for it, because he wanted to be better than that, to show Hart that the world wasn’t all bad, that secretly he knew he’d never be what Hart needed because no one had ever shown him how, but Chris had come pretty damn close. Kite wants to ask, once and for all, why Chris walked away when Kite begged him to come back and talk to him? Did Chris really, truly hate him for what his father had done, even now? He wants to ask Chris to tell him, how in the world is he supposed to regain his trust after all that?

Instead what Kite says is, “Say it again.”

He doesn’t trust himself to say anything more, and he wonders if Chris will understand.

Of course, Chris knows. “I’m sorry.”

Kite sobs openly. “Again.”

Chris hugs Kite and whispers against the top of his head, “I’m sorry.”

Kite clings to Chris’ shirt. “Promise…” but he can’t get the rest of the words out.

Chris lifts Kite and carries him away. Eventually they sit, and Chris keeps his arms around Kite. “I promise I won’t leave you like that again. If I do have to leave, I’ll tell you why. I won’t push you away.”

It’s strange, Kite knows that hearts don’t really break, but the feeling in his chest feels a lot like his heart slowly coming back together.

 

Eventually Kite falls asleep. He wakes up in his own bed, with a note from Chris in his hand, and with Hart sitting next to him, smiling.

“You were sleeping on Chris-sama’s shoulder when father and I got back. Did you two make up?”

Kite reads the note in his hands. It’s Chris’ phone number and address, and a short message saying that Kite can call or come by whenever he wants. Kite grins and reaches up to ruffle Hart’s hair.

“Yeah little bro, I think we did.”

**Author's Note:**

> Is it out of character for Kite to cry? Not that I really care if it is GIVE ME ALL THE TEARS I NEED CHARACTERS WHO CRY FIGHT ME
> 
> Seriously though I saw Kite and V/Quinton/Chris/etc interacting after the carnival and I was like "?????? WHERE IS MY SCENE WITH KITE WRESTLING WITH THE BETRAYAL HE SUFFERED WHEN HE WAS ABANDONED IN THE RAIN?????? WHERE IS HIS DECISION TO MOVE PAST THAT? HOW DID WE GET HERE?"
> 
> So yeah. This happened.


End file.
